A helping hand
by Sara Sidle Grissom
Summary: Grissom is worried about Sara and listens to her problems. Pointless one shot. Grissom's POV. Complete. Rating: M.


_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_Rating: M  
Ship: Our canon ship called GSR. _

A/N: Okay, here goes my try in a fluffy Grissom's POV fic… I hope you all like it. Also I want to give the biggest thanks to **Kristy** for her sweet words and helping me to continue this and be even more proud of it. Thank you so much!

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**A helping hand

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I'd seen this melancholic air around her before, it was the kind of mood which dragged her into her double and triple shifts. It made her energetic in a way. Though the aura around her made me want to stay away from her, I couldn't help but be captivated by her driven character. She was sitting in the evidence room, staring at the computer screen. It was the only light streaming into the room, making her face thin and anemic.

I cleared my throat and slowly entered the room, careful not to agitate her. When she didn't give any indication of her knowledge of my presence, I shuffled closer and turned on the desk light. When she looked up I saw the dark circles around her eyes. She looked tired, exhausted. The work had consumed all her energy, but something else had depleted her mirth.

"Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings," I quoted, it being the first line coming to mind.

She looked at me, her expression puzzled. "Who's that?" She asked me after a moment.

"Helen Keller," I said and studied her features for a moment. Then I grabbed the nearby chair and decided to take action on the advice Catherine had given me, years ago. "I thought you said you would go home after your second shift, you're halfway through you third now. If you want to solve this case, you need to allow yourself some rest."

Sara nodded her head, and turned her head back to the computer screen. "I just can't go home and do nothing. It'll only remind me," she said, whispering the last words.

"Remind you of what?" I questioned. I felt self-confident with the idea that I was actually _doing_ something. I was trying to make her feel safe, regaining her trust. Somehow it felt good, an overwhelming pride. I finally did it; after all those years, I lifted my head from the microscope.

She lifted her head and locked eyes with me and for a millisecond I thought she was going to yell at me. She didn't however, no. Instead she gave me a soft smile, her 'it's alright'-smile.

I matched her smile and waited, making sure she wouldn't feel obligated to talk to me. I didn't want to put her under any pressure; this was a conversation between friends –like we used to be-, not between supervisor and subordinate. She didn't feel like she had to talk to me apparently, but she did.

"It would only remind me of the feeling of being unwanted," she slowly started.

I observed her, not quite understanding why she would possibly feel that way, Sara was one of the greatest and strongest women I had ever met. I wanted to tell her that, but decided against it, because she probably wasn't done yet. I waited patiently for her to grab herself together.

She looked at me. "I've felt unwanted for a few times," she looked at me and I instantaneously comprehended that she was talking about 'this'. I didn't know what to do about it before. I did, however, know what to do about it right now. I didn't tell her still.

"You," she said and I could see that she was contemplating her next words. "You have made me feel worthless… multiple times. I've tried to move on, but every time I tried you would show me the real you, only a small part of you, but it was enough for me to be enthralled. So I stopped trying to move on. But then you would turn your cold-shoulder to me again," she paused and looked at me.

I swallowed; I didn't know it was that hard on her. Frankly, I've never really understood people. But I knew now that my demeanor towards her wasn't the way it used to be, but I acted that way because I was scared, scared to let her too close, scared to be known.

She saw I was lost in thoughts and when I'd noticed she'd stopped talking I looked in her eyes, holding her gaze for a while. "Excuse me, go on," I apologized.

"But to be honest, that's not the reason I'm here tonight, making empty promises about going home and not sticking to it, I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be sorry, if there's a reason for it, you don't have to apologize," I explained to her, and I hoped she was going to tell me what was occupying her mind. I hoped she trusted me enough to show her vulnerable side once more.

She sighed. "Because of what happened between us, the constant tension when we're in the same room, the hopes, and the silent wishes. I actually got myself a social life, because you told me to. I made friends, went out more. I started to feel pretty happy in my own skin, in my own life. I found back the reason to live."

I nodded in silent understanding. Not that I had any friends outside of work, well maybe a few other entomologists whom I met on conferences, but no real _friends_. She used to be my friend; she used to be one of my best friends.

Then she suddenly stood up, wheeled the chair to the side and held still in the doorway. "Can you drop me off at home, please? I hitched a ride with Nick this morning," she said and shook her head. "Uhm, before first shift," she corrected herself.

"Sure," I nodded and turned off the computer, which she had forgotten to do. Then I followed her, my physical side getting the better of me as I watched the swing of her hips. 'Not now Gil, you're friends, nothing more,' I told myself as I lifted my eyes to her back.

I think however she knew I was watching her as she turned back with a humble smile on her lips. I shot her a goofy grin and opened the door for her. She walked outside and got in the passenger side of the car.

As we made our way to her apartment I kept thinking about what she had told me. I never knew I caused so much heartache, and I wished I could take it all back. I knew that I couldn't regardless. "I'm sorry," I whispered, figuring she'd know what I was talking about.

"I know," she replied and looked at me. "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on," she went on and I shot her a quick glance.

"Frost?" I questioned.

She nodded and turned her eyes back on the road before her. "I remember one of my teachers used that exact same phrase when he told us his wife had died. Everybody gave him their words of encouragement, and that's what he said to us." She smiled at the thought. "It struck me, I don't know why. I thought it was quite brave of him to allege it like that. Although most people thought it was to hide his sorrow, I thought it was courageous."

I smiled. "I agree with you," I told her as I pulled up in front of her apartment. "So..." I drew out, saying it with a long and deep breath. "What's the real reason, besides me acting like an asshole?" I asked, sounding not like myself.

She sighed and turned to me. "I uh... I lost a friend a few weeks ago," she said and looked at me. "Not like... dying. But losing the friendship," she explained and fumbled with the zipper of her purse.

"I'm sorry," I said and gave her a small sad smile. I didn't know how it felt, for I never had real friends. But I did know that everybody needs human contact some time, I talk with my co-workers and I ride the rollercoaster. I'm surrounded by people, helping me survive, but it's not enough. I need the contact, just as everybody else. A hug, a pat on the shoulder… anything.

Sara cleared her throat. "Well it wasn't like we were that close anymore, we had a sort of argument a few months ago and lost contact for about five months. And well…" She stopped talking and looked out of the window, unable to talk for a moment.

"You needed some human contact," I told her and she looked at me, nodding.

"Yeah, I uh… I contacted her again and we talked. Found out that we saw each other too much outside of work, and that didn't prosper. So well, we did fun stuff a few times again and it sort of felt like before, but not totally," she said and sighed. "I didn't feel totally safe, so I kept it at bay a little."

I looked at her with compassion and urged her to go on. I was curious as in where to this epic would lead to as I watched her, watching me.

"She forgot my birthday," she whispered and chuckled. "Even you didn't forget my birthday," she said and looked down at her hands. "You would think that the regained contact would mean something to her, but allegedly not. She didn't call, leave a card, nothing. Not for weeks, so I started wondering what I'd done wrong. Was she mad at me? What was going on?" She asked loudly.

"Sara…" I started. "Don't always try and find the mistakes with yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. You redeemed the bond, the ball was in her court," I told her and reached out my hand to grab her trembling one.

She inhaled shakily and squeezed my hand, seemingly glad at the little gesture. "She came to me again a few days ago after I asked her why." She chuckled again. "She didn't have an answer," Sara exclaimed. "She didn't know it."

She shook her head and looked me in the eyes. "It's silly, this shouldn't be getting at me like this," she said and unclasped her seatbelt. "You uh… you want to come inside for some coffee?" She asked me, her cheeks a little flushed.

I nodded, a little unsure. "Coffee would be great," I accepted, deciding not to ask her after this anymore. I watched her open the door and step out of the car. I followed her example and turned off the engine, opened the door and got out. Then I locked the doors with the remote control and followed her up the stairs to her apartment door.

She fumbled jittery with the key and opened the door for me. The last time I had been here was after Ecklie had suspended her. I recalled how she was sitting on that chair, crying. I looked around the room, nothing had changed since I last was here.

Sara cleared her throat to get my attention. I turned to her and smiled. "Thanks for dropping me off," she started and turned on the coffeemaker. She approached me carefully, a glint of passion in her eyes, although that was probably just my imagination.

I swallowed as my physical side was slowly getting the better of me and opened my mouth, backing away from her a little until the back of my knees hit the couch, making me tumble on it. "You're welcome," I murmured.

It was strange how she could change my character with just a look. At first I seemed so self-confident and self-controlled. And now she was looking at me, I seemed like a moron. My barrier was crumbling under her intense stare as she gently sat down next to me.

"Thanks for listening to me," she said and turned to face me, sitting side wards on the couch. She smiled her irresistible smile and I stopped trying to control myself. I found my eyes glued to her lips, and noticed they were slightly parted.

"My pleasure," I whispered before gently capturing her lips with mine. I lifted one of my hands to brush her hair behind her ear and gently let my fingertips travel over her cheek, and down to her jaw.

She pulled back, very surprised. "Griss?" She whispered softly, as her eyes sought out the contact with mine.

I looked up at her and grinned sheepishly. "I uh... figured you needed some human contact," I muttered, fiddling with my hands in my lap, not sure of how Sara would react.

She smiled softly back at me and repeated the gesture I had made. Her lips were soft as they gently pressed against mine, looking for love and passion. One of her hands moved into my hair, grabbing and pulling a bit to get closer.

Meanwhile my hands had started to live a life of their own as one of them moved to the small over her back and the other made his way to her shoulder.

She let out a small moan of pleasure as my hand ridded up her shirt a bit, coming into contact with the bare skin of her back. I let my fingers travel over the skin slowly, coming across a small scar and I felt how goose bumps rose on her back.

"Griss?" She whispered as she grabbed my hand and looked deeply into my eyes. She stood up and pulled me with her, walking us to her bedroom and closing the door behind us. I didn't do anything to stop her, figured this was something she would need.

I let out a low groan, and I noticed it sounded animalistic, coming deep from deep down my throat. I grinned against her lips as I pulled her down on the bed with me. I was going to make sure that she would feel comfortable and loved, for she deserved to feel loved, like the princess she was.

But I just couldn't stop worrying she would regret this in the morning, because I was afraid she would. I wouldn't know what I would do then, I wouldn't know what to do when she would reject me. Although I could understand perfectly if she would.

I didn't have that much time to think any longer about that, when Sara gently started undoing the buttons of my dress shirt. All the thoughts left my mind as I only focused on her.

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The next morning I woke up to a cold bed, she wasn't here anymore. I sat up immediately and looked around. She wasn't in the room either. "Sara?" I called out, wondering where she'd gone. When no reaction followed I got out of the bed and pulled on my boxers, making my way downstairs.

"Sara?" I asked again, when I heard her scurrying around in the kitchen. "Are you okay?" I asked, slowly approaching her.

She turned back to me and smiled softly, her cheeks rosy. She looked deeply into my eyes, and nodded, biting down at her bottom lip. "I'm fine," she whispered. "Why?" She questioned then, tilting her head to the side a bit while she looked at me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I uh… I was afraid you would think last night was a mistake. Because it wasn't a mistake to me, last night made me realize something. I've been wrong for so long Sara," I confess, letting out a deep sigh and looking down at the floor.

She walks over to me and puts a delicate finger under my chin, lifting my eyes to hers. Then she gently kisses my lips, before pulling back. "It wasn't a mistake Grissom, I'm glad last night happened, although the reason might not have been the correct one. I don't regret it."

I let out a relieved sigh as I pulled her body close to mine. "Sara?"

"Hmmm?" Came the reply.

"Do you think you could give me another chance… or am I too late?" I asked her, pulling back a little to look at the frown on her face.

She giggled a bit and gave me a quick kiss. "Yes, you'll get another chance," she whispered, before capturing my lips with hers.

And I knew it would be like this forever, she forgave me for the mistakes I made; now I only had to forgive myself for it. But I knew that would be a lot easier, because she was there to pull me through.

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**The End

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